c3rvida3:

I’m not a prayin’ man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn’t quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, “HE’S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?” and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.

(via problematicmess-oopsies)

bevsi:

I’m not canonically autistic but it’s strongly implied

(via oh-good)

z0mbiefrank:

z0mbiefrank:

z0mbiefrank:

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

he didnt respond to my observation. just sorta stood there

… much like something else i know of

(via legendofthepenis)

elfilibusterismo:

elfilibusterismo:

convinced that all americans do is lie

we have got to get more serious.

(via sherbmybaby)

cowboy:

seasidelemon:

will: I’d like a grilled cheese.

waittress: of course coming right up sir

hannibal: interesting… when one applies heat to the square slice of cheese on your sandwich, it will undergo a metamorphosis. What was once a solid now becomes liquid…perhaps too much so to contain between slices of toasted bread. Yet we will still call it cheese. Tell me Will, have you become difficult to contain under the heat of your past? Or are you still an innocent slice of cheese,

I feel like not having watched Hannibal makes these posts like 2000% funnier for me

(via vriskamcelroy)

i-like-pink-lolzz:

crow–teeth:

no fucking awoo. no awoo right now. its late. its not awoo time. its sleeping time. go the fuck to bed.

(via mona-darling)

that-house:

elven-e-girl:

phoenixichi:

transxfiles:

transxfiles:

you may notice i use the phrase “my beloved” frequently. this is because i am in love with the world and everything in it. hope this clears things up <3

girl help the pessimists found me

“girl help i am staunchly refusing to realise my own naivete in a world almost completely made up of things that couldnt care less about me or are actively exploiting me”

Girl help the pessimists are mistaking an inherently meaningless universe for an inhumane and joyless one rather than recognizing the opportunity to make one’s own meaning and joy and to spread those things to others

(via randomnoone)